Wednesday,
11th Week
TS Eliot in his
poem, The Murder at the Cathedral,
once said, “The last temptation is the greatest treason: to do right deed for
wrong reason.”
Our first reading
today presents Elijah asking Elisha what gift he would like to ask for from
God. Elisha, the apprentice of Elijah, asked for the double portion of the
spirit of Elijah, which means, a special connection or relationship with God. In the Gospel today, Jesus reminds His disciples
that they should be focused on their relationship with the Father. The
disciples should do good deeds of almsgiving, praying, and fasting not to be
noticed by others and receive praise from mere humans, but rather to draw
closer to the Father who
sees the deeds of those who are trying to live like their Master. The
close relationship with God is much more important than the admiration of other
people as Pope Francis stated in one of his homilies. The purpose of
their actions should be a deepening of their relationship with the One who sees
what is done in secret and gives gifts better than that of being held in high esteem
bypeople.
Let me focus my
reflection on the intention or motivation of the heart in doing good. TS Eliot
is indeed correct in saying that it is treason and hypocrisy to do good deeds
with the wrong intention. This is what constantly comes to my prayer on this
passage. In the sphere of human dynamics, person gifted with self-consciousness,
self-confidence, and aggressiveness may be prey to this hypocrisy. And much more if the person is not aware of
this dynamics. The good deeds he has done may be tainted by hypocrisy rather
than inspired by a closer relationship with the Giver of the gifts. Our Human Formation reminds us always that it is our ego that often prevents us from establishing
a meaningful relationship with God. The ego leads to self-centeredness and desirespraises
and recognition. Based on my experience, one feels frustrated if one is not recognized
and given importance.
Throughout my 11
years in formation, I have found myself continually struggling with this. I
acknowledge my God-given gifts. However, many times,I am defeated by my ego.
This is a reminder for me. I ask myself, “In everything I do and for all that I
share, what are my motivations”? I never had pure motivations.
Never. Hence, I am very grateful to my counsellor and spiritual director for
the guidance and enlightenment. In the constant struggle with this ego-centric
dynamics and the desire to serve God and his Church, this seminary has never
ever left me hanging. The programs of the seminary continually help me to stand
in the midst of the creative tension between the two realities of ego-centric
dynamics and genuine service to God. I believe thateach one of us have our own
struggles in this regard, but on different levels and intensities. Let us
always remember that though our motivation is never pure, there is always room
for growth for those who are willing to be helped.
In our daily
awareness of this inner movement, we can surely develop our deeper relationship
with the Giver of our giftsand make Him the right reason for every good deed we
do. As Cardinal Tagle reminded us also during his talk, to be grounded on where
we came from so that the praises we receive may be directed with gratitude to
the Giver rather than to us. This will then lead to a deeper relationship with
God. Like Elisha, let us continually ask God for the grace of openness and
humility to acknowledge and tame our own issues and struggles. Quoting Fr. Cel,
let us always ask ourselves; what is/are my motivations in doing things? Where
is the direction of my affect? May we desire for deeper relationship with God
as our motivation rather than others’ praises and adulations. Amen.
-
Eric
Cantones
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